Quickly now.

November 5, 2010 § Leave a comment

Friday, in bullets, because I’m tired and also feeling a little yakk-ish.

  • Costco is the worst place to try and squeeze in a half hour lunch. Workplace is only 5 minutes from Costco, but I burned a good 15 minutes just trying to navigate the parking lot in the middle of the day on a Friday. I don’t get it.
  • I’m having a small zombie obsession. But not gory, 28 Days Later zombies. More like…gentle, slow zombies. It started with Shaun of the Dead. And then The Walking Dead on AMC. And now I have Re: Your Brains on repeat on my Zune.
  • Badcat crawled onto Andrew’s bed tonight during story time, openly displaying any sort of acknowledgement of either kid’s existence for the first time ever. I have never seen that kid smile so big.
  • I recently started what must be my 15th time (at a very conservative estimate) through the entire series of Friends. The show NEVER gets old. This will be the thing that dates me as I get old.
  • I have a Justin Beiber song stuck in my head, except it includes Olivia singing along. Best Beiber Ever.
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The thing I have not learned.

July 19, 2010 § 1 Comment

I think I might suck as a social being, it turns out.

I’ve realized lately that I don’t really know how to make or keep friends in real life. I can be plenty social and amicable, but I don’t know how exactly you’re supposed to have friends when you don’t have convenient things like group projects and finals and celebrating finals to facilitate social interactions.

Most days, I just want to come home and be home and I don’t really want to be apart from AJ all that much.

It was understandable when we were going through the courtroomdrama hell. We were so overwhelmed by everything in life that we only ventured out for food and sustenance and otherwise huddled close for warmth and reassurance. But we’re past that now. We want lives.

I don’t know how to be the center of attention. I feel a little faint at the idea of inviting people I don’t know very well to my home where it will be revealed how truly boring I am. And I don’t know how to go about knowing people well enough to earn an invite to whatever social events they might have going on in their lives. So it’s easier to just rely on my trusty war pal (and extensive DVD collection) and keep to ourselves.

In all reality, I prefer my long-distance friends who either know me well enough to see past my slow-to-warm tendencies or are as equally socially awkward.

But then there’s the rare occasion where an internet friend lives in the same town and wants to do something but being that our friendship exists primarily via internet, we never get much further past “we should do something sometime.” And then someone’s feelings get hurt because both people were waiting for the other to take the initiative to make something real happen and one person took it more seriously than the other. And ugh, I just hate this whole process.

Maybe I’ve made all the real friends I’m going to make and it just so happens that none of them live in my town. But I don’t want that to be true.

So on Thursday, I’m taking a risk and going over to a coworkers house to do crafty things. And then we’re going to make plans for her family and our family to hang out. And we’re going to become real friends, outside of work. I might be anxious and nervous and all up in my head, but I know I can do this.

I can still make friends.

Remembering.

May 19, 2010 § Leave a comment

Three years ago today…

  • I was waiting for him to pick me up. All day. It was the longest day of my life to date, I’m fairly certain. I made 2 giant batches of chocolate chip cookies (1 was for him, for his birthday), painted my nails, shaved my legs, plucked my eyebrows, went over and over my outfit, tried to read, watch a movie, blog, do everything I could to get to 6PM quicker. And yet, I sat there, nervous as all hell, excited as all hell.
  • He rang my doorbell and presented me with a DVD of Shaun of the Dead to borrow and a single red rose. Geek dating at it’s finest. Later that night I discovered he had stuck a post-it note inside that said “Hope you enjoy.” I fell in love with his handwriting on the spot. I still have that post-it note, and Shaun of the Dead is now one of my favorite movies.
  • We swapped Tragic/Hilarious Life Moment stories over Chinese food. My fortune said “You will always have good luck in your personal affairs.” I still carry that fortune in my wallet.
  • We watched Hot Fuzz in the theater. We were late to the movie, but since he’d already seen it, he put his arm around me to lean in and whisper what I’d missed. I died inside a million times over. I don’t think I heard a single word he said. I spent most of the movie edging my leg closer to his and hoping he’d hold my hand. It felt like I was 13 again, in such a wonderful way.¬†
  • Neither of us wanted to go home, so we drove to a local park and laid on our backs in the grass and looked at the stars. It was the most romantic thing I’d ever done. We laid there for 2 hours, looking for constellations, and talking about our childhoods, our favorite Star Trek characters, what we wanted to do with our lives. We only left because I got so cold that I was shaking. I didn’t care, I could have stayed there all night.
  • He drove me home and we made plans for a second date the next weekend. I didn’t want to get out of the car, and not just because the heater was so warm. At the very last minute, he leaned in and kissed me and it was like nothing I had ever felt before. I can still feel the way my heart lept out of its chest. I laid awake for hours after, replaying that feeling over and over again.
  • It was only our first date, but I knew I was going to fall in love.

Geeks in love

November 17, 2009 § Leave a comment

Character in movie we’re watching: “I don’t really like other people”

Him: Me either.

Me: “You like me.”

Him: But we’re in a relationship.

Me: “But I’m someone other than yourself, am I not?”

Him: Not since we started this relationship

Me: “I see. So I just got assimilated, is that what happened?”

Him: Yeah, it’s like the Borg.

Me: “Oh good. Our relationship is like the Borg.”

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