Trust.

October 12, 2010 § Leave a comment

When I first met AJ and learned of his troubles with shewhomustnotbenamed, I would tell him to have faith, to keep going, that truth would always prevail, that good always conquers evil, and various and sundry platitudes that all boiled down to this: at some point, if you have truth and goodness on your side, you will get what you deserve.

Then, as we entered a two year long legal battle, my spirit became just as broken as his. I felt like our justice system wasn’t properly equipped to recognize and reward the truth and that as long as she was crafty enough, shewhomustnotbenamed would always just skate by. Keep faith, my mom would tell me. She’ll get what’s coming to her. Truth will always prevail, good will always conquer evil, and so on and so forth.

And yet we kept going. And even my mom, my rock, began to lose faith. When will they ever see it, we wondered? And then, inexplicably, the sun broke through the clouds, the tide changed, and things started going our way. Just bit by bit at first, like she didn’t believe it either, but then it got bigger and more real and more people started seeing the writing on the wall and suddenly we are in the place we always wanted to be.

Truth prevailed. Good conquered evil.

The superkids come see us regularly. We are about to pick them up for the 7th scheduled weekend in a row, our longest streak yet. And all this time has changed our relationship indefinitely. It’s hard to put a finger on precisely what has changed. They see us different, we see them different. We’re not these people who they sometimes see to get entertained. We are their family, their parents. I feel trust when I’m with them, I feel love. From the way they hug us, to the way they look at us, and talk to us, just from the way they sit around our home, everything is different and so much more real.

Every time I turn around, I feel like there are more blessings. I still don’t feel like it’s real and I still don’t know if I completely trust that everything won’t change, but I want to believe in it.

I want it to be real.

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