July 7, 2010 § Leave a comment
There was nothing about it that was perfect.
There were tears, tantrums, frustrations. The food wasn’t on perfect, little Martha Stewart trays, not everyone’s hair was combed, hell, not even everyone’s clothes matched, but there was nothing about that holiday that I would trade.
We sat on the beach at sunset, chaos all around us as hundreds of people gathered, eager to add their version of patriotism into the smoke addled air. It was so loud that we had to shout to one another to be heard as we clambered for our small square of beach to ring out our celebrations of independence. Amidst all that celebratory bedlam, I found myself swallowed up by the pregnant silence of the profound realization that in that moment, I had everything that I wanted. All the noise, the struggles, the heartaches just came crashing down and instead, I felt complete, I felt love in its purest, most untouched form.
They would turn and smile at me, inviting me to share in their joy and I knew I had become a real person to them. I feel so fortunate to be on this side of it, to know the difference now. Every minute that they are here, I want to hug them until I can’t stop and tell them how much I love them until I am out of the breath to say it. I want to love them until my heart stops beating.
I remember now, why we do this, why I am in this. I remember why we bother to subject ourselves to her, why we put every penny we have into fighting so very hard to get to this point. We may never really be free, but this weekend we celebrated our independence from the struggle and danced in the light.